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Joke Types
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Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts, or the stomach, or the heart.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field for a long time!
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Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of standing up for so long!
Online Shopping Woes
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I tried buying a 'longer-lasting' phone battery online. When it finally arrived, it lasted longer than my last relationship. It's been three weeks, and it still won't let me down!
Family Reunion Chronicles
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Family reunions are like a longer version of Thanksgiving. The turkey's not the only thing getting roasted, and the drama lasts longer than the leftovers. If only I could apply the 'mute' button to real-life conversations.
The Long and the Short of It
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So, I asked my doctor for some advice on living longer. He said, Avoid stress and tension. I said, Doc, have you met my in-laws? Longer life, shorter sanity!
Dating Woes
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My friend said, You need to be in a longer-term relationship for personal growth. So, I bought a cactus. It's low-maintenance, doesn't talk back, and I've named it Carl. Carl's a great listener.
Epic Movie Marathons
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I tried watching the longest movie ever made. It's so long that the actors age in real-time. By the end of it, the lead actor had a full beard, and I had ordered enough takeout to feed a small village.
Weather Forecast Frustration
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They said the weather forecast would be longer today. I waited all day for a hurricane or something, but nope, just more rain. Turns out, longer in weather terms just means more time for my umbrella to turn inside out.
The Lengthy Line Dilemma
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You ever been stuck in a line that seems longer than the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy? I was at the DMV the other day. I started watching The Fellowship of the Ring, and by the time Frodo threw that ring into Mount Doom, I had only moved three spaces.
DIY Disasters
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I decided to build a bookshelf to make my room look longer. Now, it looks like I'm living in an abstract art installation titled Bookshelf of Regret. The only thing longer is the time it took to clean up the mess.
The Lengthy Lecture
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My professor said the lecture would be longer today. I thought, great, maybe we're delving into the mysteries of the universe. Turns out, it was just an extended rant about his cat's eating habits. Now I know more about feline nutrition than my own major.
Tangled Tech Tales
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I got a new charging cable that's supposed to be longer. It's like an anaconda in my living room. I'm afraid to leave the house because I might trip over it and be found by future archaeologists as the guy tangled in his own charging cable. Cause of death: smartphone strangulation.
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