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What did the undertaker say to the procrastinator? 'Stop delaying, and let's bury the hatchet!
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Did you hear about the undertaker who opened a seafood restaurant? It's called 'Rest in Mollusk'!
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Why did the undertaker start a bakery? Because he wanted to make coffin pastries!
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What did the undertaker say to the lazy employee? 'You're not putting in enough coffin-t!
The Undertaker's GPS
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Did you know the Undertaker uses GPS? Yeah, it's a bit different though. Instead of saying Turn left, it just ominously says, When you reach the end of the road, your destination will be on the right... or should I say, the afterlife.
Undertaker's Gym Routine
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I heard the Undertaker has a unique gym routine. He doesn't do cardio; he does corpse-o. It's all about that graveyard fitness, lifting tombstones and digging graves. No wonder he's in killer shape!
Dating Advice from the Undertaker
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I asked the Undertaker for dating advice. He said, If you really want to impress someone, take them to a cemetery at midnight. I tried it, and now I have a restraining order. Turns out, people prefer coffee shops.
The Undertaker's Retirement Party
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You know, I heard the Undertaker recently threw a retirement party. Yeah, the theme was 'Rest in Peace,' which is fitting because after a career of tombstones and choke slams, now he just wants a good night's sleep.
The Undertaker's Stand-up Comedy Career
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Imagine the Undertaker doing stand-up comedy. His opening line would be, I've buried more people than I've made laugh. Talk about a tough crowd. You'd be dying for the punchline.
Undertaker's Tinder Profile
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I found the Undertaker on Tinder. His profile says, I'm looking for a long-term commitment. Must love dark alleys, coffins, and have a strong aversion to garlic.
Undertaker's Day Job
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Ever wonder what the Undertaker's day job is? He works at a bakery. Yeah, he specializes in coffin-shaped cookies. It's the only place where business is literally dead.
Undertaker's Retirement Plan
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The Undertaker's retirement plan? It's simple. He's investing in real estate – six feet of it. He figures the property value only goes up, and there's no need to worry about noisy neighbors.
Job Security in the Afterlife
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I was thinking about becoming an undertaker myself. I mean, talk about job security! People are dying to get in, and once they do, they're not going anywhere. It's recession-proof, depression-proof, and even zombie apocalypse-proof!
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