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I was watching the Oscars, and I noticed how everyone is so impeccably dressed, but they always trip over their gowns. It's like a fancy game of "Who Wore It Better... Until They Fell." "And the award for Best Recovery After Tripping on a Dress goes to...
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Did anyone else notice how the Oscars audience always looks surprised when the camera pans to them? It's like they forgot they were at the Oscars. "Oh, is that tonight? I just came for the free popcorn and the chance to wear a fancy dress.
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The red carpet at the Oscars is like a high-stakes fashion show. I can't even afford the clothes on the mannequins in the window, let alone the ones worn by celebrities. "I'm not saying my fashion sense is limited, but my wardrobe is sponsored by 'Clearance Rack Chic.'
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I was watching the Oscars, and they kept playing that intense music to cut off long acceptance speeches. I think we need that in everyday life. Imagine you're telling a boring story, and suddenly, the music starts playing, signaling everyone to move on. "And then, my cat did this adorable thing—dun dun dun—let's talk about something else!
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You know, I was watching the Oscars in 2022, and I realized they should give out awards for the most creative acceptance speech. I mean, thanking your mom and your dog is so last year. How about thanking your toaster for always being there in the morning? "I'd like to thank my toaster for always popping up when I least expect it!
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Watching the Oscars is like playing a game of "How many movies have I not seen this year?" I'm just sitting there, nodding and clapping, pretending I know what's happening. "Ah yes, 'The Quantum Llama.' Heard it was a masterpiece.
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Did you see the Oscar nominees' gift bags this year? They were worth more than my car, my house, and my college education combined. "I got a bag of chips and a coupon for a free hug. I'm basically living the celebrity life.
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The Oscars are like the Olympics of Hollywood. But instead of gold, silver, and bronze, they hand out little gold men. I wonder if the winners have a shelf at home just for their mini gold army. "Oh, this one is for Best Actor, and that one is for Best Supporting Actor in a Dramatic Toast Scene.
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The Oscars have those "In Memoriam" segments, honoring those who passed away. But have you noticed they don't include the careers of actors in bad movies? "We'd like to remember John Doe's career after 'Attack of the Killer Squirrels.' May it rest in peace.
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