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My refrigerator told me it's time to settle down. I guess it wants a more chill life!
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I told my alarm clock it's time to settle down. Now it wakes me up with gentle reminders instead of loud beeps!
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I asked my GPS to settle down, but it just recalculated my life choices. Maybe it's time for a new direction!
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I told my computer it needed to settle down. Now it won't stop running smoothly!
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I told my car it's time to settle down. Now it refuses to start any drama on the road!
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I asked the ocean to settle down, but it just waved back. Guess it's not ready to calm down yet!
Settle Down, Smartphone!
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I've had it with my smartphone trying to be my life coach. I'm just casually scrolling, and it's like, You've been on social media for a while. Shouldn't you be doing something productive? I'm like, Settle down, Siri. I'm in a committed relationship with procrastination.
Settle Down, Weather App!
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I checked the weather app, and it had the nerve to say, Enjoy the present moment. I just wanted to know if I needed an umbrella, not get a life lesson. Settle down, Weather App, you're not my therapist.
Settle Down, Life Coach!
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You know you're getting old when your knees start making more noise than your teenage neighbor's house party. I walked into the room, and suddenly everyone's shouting, Settle down! I thought it was an intervention, but no, it turns out my joints are just having their own dance party.
Settle Down, GPS!
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I got this new GPS system, and let me tell you, it's more high-maintenance than my last relationship. Every time I miss a turn, it's like having a passive-aggressive co-pilot whispering, Settle down, we'll find another route. I just want directions, not a life coach.
Settle Down, Elevator Music!
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I was in the elevator, and the music started playing. It's this slow, calming tune, like I'm entering a spa. I'm like, Settle down, elevator. I just want to go from the ground floor to the fifth, not on a meditation retreat.
Settle Down, Salad!
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I tried to be healthy and ordered a salad at a restaurant. The salad looked at me like I insulted its ancestors. I took a bite, and it was like, Settle down, you're used to fries, not greens. Even my food is telling me to calm down.
Settle Down, Coffee Mug!
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My coffee mug has a serious attitude problem. I pour my coffee, and suddenly it's giving me side-eye, like, Settle down, caffeine cowboy. I just need my morning jolt; I don't need judgment from a ceramic container.
Settle Down, Gym Equipment!
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I hit the gym, and the treadmill was giving me attitude. It's like, Settle down, you're not Usain Bolt. I'm just trying not to embarrass myself in front of the fitness gods. Settle down, treadmill, settle down.
Settle Down, Netflix!
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Netflix has become the most judgmental roommate. I'm binge-watching a series, and suddenly it's like, Are you still watching? Yes, I am, Netflix, and I'll continue to avoid responsibility until further notice. Settle down, streaming service, settle down.
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