17 Jokes For Heartbroken

Puns

Updated on: May 04 2025

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Why did the heart enroll in cooking school? It wanted to learn how to make heart-healthy decisions!
Why did the heart get a job as a comedian? It wanted to pump up the laughter!
Why did the heart join a band? It wanted to play the beats of its own breakup song!
Why did the heart file a police report? It was broken into pieces!
Why did the heart break up with the spleen? It needed some space!
Why did the heart go to therapy? It needed some emotional support!
Why did the heart start a comedy club? It wanted to lighten the mood after the breakup!

Breaking Up is Hard... and Hilarious

Breaking up is like trying to fold a fitted sheet – it sounds easy, but halfway through, you're just sitting on the floor surrounded by a mess, wondering where you went wrong.

Heartbreak Diet

They say stress can help you lose weight. Well, let me tell you, my recent breakup had me shedding so many tears, I should be on the cover of a fitness magazine.

Dating Apps: Where Love Goes to Die

I tried online dating. They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but it feels more like I'm stuck in a fishing boat without a paddle. And all I catch are catfish!

Relationship GPS

I thought I was in a loving relationship, but it turns out my GPS was set to Emotional Detour. Now I'm just stuck in traffic with a broken heart and no idea where I'm headed. Should've updated my love maps!

Heartbreak Hotel

You ever notice how relationships are like hotels? I recently checked into the Heartbreak Hotel. I thought it had five stars, turns out it was just the pain rating.

Breaking Up with Technology

I wanted to break up with my ex, but breaking up with someone nowadays is like disconnecting from WiFi – you never know if it's really over, or if they're just on a temporary pause.

DIY Relationship Repair Kit

My friend gave me a DIY relationship repair kit. It came with super glue, duct tape, and a manual titled How to Fix Your Love Life. Spoiler alert: it's just a blank page.

Emotional Rollercoaster Ride

Being heartbroken is like riding a rollercoaster of emotions. One moment you're up, the next you're down, and all I got at the end of the ride was a lousy souvenir T-shirt that says, I survived love.

Love Advice from My Grandma

My grandma once told me, If you want a love that lasts forever, get a dog. Well, Grandma, I followed your advice. Now I have a dog, an empty bed, and a fridge full of ice cream. Thanks for the tip.

Love is Blind, but My Ex wasn't

They say love is blind, but my ex had 20/20 vision and a magnifying glass. I didn't see it coming, but they sure did – straight into the arms of someone else!

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