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Why did the heart enroll in cooking school? It wanted to learn how to make heart-healthy decisions!
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Why did the heart get a job as a comedian? It wanted to pump up the laughter!
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Why did the heart join a band? It wanted to play the beats of its own breakup song!
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Why did the heart start a comedy club? It wanted to lighten the mood after the breakup!
Breaking Up is Hard... and Hilarious
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Breaking up is like trying to fold a fitted sheet – it sounds easy, but halfway through, you're just sitting on the floor surrounded by a mess, wondering where you went wrong.
Heartbreak Diet
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They say stress can help you lose weight. Well, let me tell you, my recent breakup had me shedding so many tears, I should be on the cover of a fitness magazine.
Dating Apps: Where Love Goes to Die
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I tried online dating. They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but it feels more like I'm stuck in a fishing boat without a paddle. And all I catch are catfish!
Relationship GPS
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I thought I was in a loving relationship, but it turns out my GPS was set to Emotional Detour. Now I'm just stuck in traffic with a broken heart and no idea where I'm headed. Should've updated my love maps!
Heartbreak Hotel
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You ever notice how relationships are like hotels? I recently checked into the Heartbreak Hotel. I thought it had five stars, turns out it was just the pain rating.
Breaking Up with Technology
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I wanted to break up with my ex, but breaking up with someone nowadays is like disconnecting from WiFi – you never know if it's really over, or if they're just on a temporary pause.
DIY Relationship Repair Kit
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My friend gave me a DIY relationship repair kit. It came with super glue, duct tape, and a manual titled How to Fix Your Love Life. Spoiler alert: it's just a blank page.
Emotional Rollercoaster Ride
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Being heartbroken is like riding a rollercoaster of emotions. One moment you're up, the next you're down, and all I got at the end of the ride was a lousy souvenir T-shirt that says, I survived love.
Love Advice from My Grandma
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My grandma once told me, If you want a love that lasts forever, get a dog. Well, Grandma, I followed your advice. Now I have a dog, an empty bed, and a fridge full of ice cream. Thanks for the tip.
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