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You ever think about the morgue's dress code? I mean, I get that it's a serious place, but do they really need to wear black all the time? It's like they're mourning the living.
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Have you ever tried to impress someone with your job at the morgue? "I work with stiffs." Yeah, not the best pickup line. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
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Have you ever thought about what a morgue staff meeting is like? "Alright, everyone, let's get this meeting over with quickly – we've got some new arrivals. Oh, and don't forget, the potluck is on Friday. Bring your favorite dish, just not your favorite corpse.
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You ever notice how the morgue is the only place where the phrase "cold storage" is taken way too literally? I mean, I've been to the grocery store, but I've never seen anyone pick up a steak and say, "Yeah, this one's been in the morgue section.
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I asked a friend who works at the morgue what the job is like. They said, "It's dead serious." Well, no kidding! But seriously, folks, they must have a killer sense of humor.
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I heard they're thinking about installing a coffee machine at the morgue. Because nothing says "wake up" like the aroma of a fresh brew next to a stiff.
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The morgue must be the only workplace where the employees can genuinely say, "I haven't had a complaint in years." Literally.
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The morgue is probably the only place where "deadlines" are taken a bit more seriously than in your average office. "You missed the deadline? Well, I guess we'll see you on the slab tomorrow.
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So, I was at the morgue the other day – not as a guest, mind you – and I noticed they have these toe tags. I couldn't help but wonder, do they ever mix them up? "Excuse me, sir, I believe you have my grandfather. I recognize those slippers anywhere.
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