10 Jokes For Morgue

Observational Jokes

Updated on: May 05 2025

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You ever think about the morgue's dress code? I mean, I get that it's a serious place, but do they really need to wear black all the time? It's like they're mourning the living.
Have you ever tried to impress someone with your job at the morgue? "I work with stiffs." Yeah, not the best pickup line. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
Have you ever thought about what a morgue staff meeting is like? "Alright, everyone, let's get this meeting over with quickly – we've got some new arrivals. Oh, and don't forget, the potluck is on Friday. Bring your favorite dish, just not your favorite corpse.
You ever notice how the morgue is the only place where the phrase "cold storage" is taken way too literally? I mean, I've been to the grocery store, but I've never seen anyone pick up a steak and say, "Yeah, this one's been in the morgue section.
I asked a friend who works at the morgue what the job is like. They said, "It's dead serious." Well, no kidding! But seriously, folks, they must have a killer sense of humor.
I heard they're thinking about installing a coffee machine at the morgue. Because nothing says "wake up" like the aroma of a fresh brew next to a stiff.
The morgue must be the only workplace where the employees can genuinely say, "I haven't had a complaint in years." Literally.
The morgue is probably the only place where "deadlines" are taken a bit more seriously than in your average office. "You missed the deadline? Well, I guess we'll see you on the slab tomorrow.
So, I was at the morgue the other day – not as a guest, mind you – and I noticed they have these toe tags. I couldn't help but wonder, do they ever mix them up? "Excuse me, sir, I believe you have my grandfather. I recognize those slippers anywhere.
I recently read that morgues have a high turnover rate. Now, I get it – they're dying to find the right employees. Imagine your resume saying, "Skilled in keeping a straight face, even when the clients can't.

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