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I tried to teach my dog proper grammar. Gave him a treat every time he barked out a correct "whom." Now he just looks at me with judgment in his eyes, probably thinking, "To whom do you think you're fooling with this nonsense?
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Whom" is the word you use when you want to end a conversation with an air of mystery. You drop a "whom" and walk away, leaving everyone pondering the deeper meaning of your sentence. It's like linguistic smoke and mirrors.
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You ever notice how "whom" is the VIP of pronouns? It's got that velvet rope attitude, making you prove your grammatical worthiness before allowing you entry. "Whom do you know here? Show me your literary credentials!
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You know you're an adult when you start using "whom" in your sentences just to feel a bit more sophisticated. I caught myself saying, "To whom it may concern," in an email the other day. Concern? The only thing concerning is that I thought adding "whom" would make me sound important.
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Whom" is like the undercover agent of the English language. It shows up unexpectedly, and you're like, "Wait, whom invited you to this sentence? I didn't authorize your linguistic infiltration!
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I asked Siri, "Whom should I talk to about my relationship problems?" Siri responded, "I'm just a virtual assistant, not a relationship counselor." Well, Siri, whom else am I going to turn to for advice? Alexa?
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Whom" is like that friend who insists on being called doctor even though they're not a doctor. It's like, "Alright, whom, calm down. You're not fooling anyone with your fancy titles. We know you're just a pronoun trying to be extra.
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You ever notice how "whom" is that one friend who insists on wearing a suit to a casual get-together? It's like, "Whom, we're just having pizza, not attending a royal banquet. Ease up, buddy!
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You ever notice how "whom" sounds like it's judging you, even when it's just sitting there in a sentence? It's like the grammar police, tapping its foot and saying, "Whom do you think you are, using improper pronouns?
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