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I walked into a bar, and there's this sign that says, "Free Wi-Fi." You know a place is classy when they advertise internet access like it's a drink special. I just hope the Wi-Fi is as strong as their cocktails.
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So, this guy walks into a bar and orders a complicated cocktail with a list of ingredients longer than a CVS receipt. Dude, it's a Tuesday night at a dive bar, not a mixology competition. Keep it simple; we're all just trying to survive the week.
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You ever notice how people's dance moves dramatically improve after a few drinks? A guy walks into a bar and suddenly thinks he's on "Dancing with the Stars." Buddy, slow down; you're not impressing anyone with that interpretive dance to the jukebox.
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Walked into a bar and overheard someone say, "I only come here for the ambiance." Ambiance? This place has more neon signs than a Las Vegas strip club. I'm pretty sure they meant "I only come here for the embarrassment.
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Saw a guy walk into a bar wearing sunglasses at night. I get it; you're too cool for the regular laws of physics that say it's dark outside. Either that or you're auditioning for the role of the mysterious guy in a '90s music video.
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Ever notice how the person who walks into a bar and says, "I'm just having one drink" is usually the same person closing the place down? It's like their watch is set to bar time – one drink lasts longer than a Lord of the Rings marathon.
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So, a guy walks into a bar... and immediately checks his phone. I mean, is it just me, or do smartphones have this magical power to make everyone forget how to enter a room without looking at a screen?
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Ever notice how everyone becomes an expert on the menu when they walk into a bar? Suddenly, people are discussing craft beers and artisanal snacks like they're connoisseurs. We're not here for the cuisine; we're here for the confusion and questionable life choices.
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I walked into a bar where they had a "Happy Hour" sign, but everyone looked like they just got out of a Monday morning meeting. If this is your definition of happy, I'd hate to see your sad. Maybe it's time to change the sign to "Slightly Less Miserable Hour.
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