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Melissa tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time!
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What did Melissa say when her GPS malfunctioned? 'Looks like I'm going on a detour de Melissa!
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What did the teacher say to Melissa's notebook? 'You've got great notes, Melissa, but you're lacking in the margins of error!
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Why did Melissa bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did Melissa bring a broom to the party? She wanted to sweep everyone off their feet with laughter!
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Why did Melissa become a musician? She wanted to 'melodica-lly' make everyone laugh!
The Name Melissa
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I'm convinced that 'Melissa' is a trigger word for bad relationships. It's like saying 'Voldemort' in the wizarding world – nobody wants to hear it.
The Name Melissa
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I did a little research, and it turns out 'Melissa' means 'honeybee' in Greek. No wonder every time I tried to get some closure, I got stung.
The Name Melissa
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I thought about starting a support group for people who dated Melissas. We could call it 'Melissa Anonymous' and have meetings in dark alleys, so no one finds out.
The Name Melissa
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They say names have power, and I believe it. Every time someone says 'Melissa,' I feel a disturbance in the force, and my Netflix subscription suddenly gets canceled.
The Name Melissa
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I think there's a secret society of Melissas out there. They probably have a secret handshake that involves swiping left on your dating profile.
The Name Melissa
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You know, I recently found out that my ex-girlfriend changed her name to Melissa. I guess 'Melissa' is Latin for 'you'll never find me on social media.' It's like she joined the witness protection program, but for relationships.
The Name Melissa
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I asked my therapist about it, and she said, 'It's just a name, get over it.' Well, it's easy for her to say; she's not the one getting haunted by the ghost of Melissa-past.
The Name Melissa
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I asked her why she picked Melissa, and she said it just felt right. Well, it didn't feel right when she was breaking up with me via text. Maybe she should have gone with 'Textarella' instead.
The Name Melissa
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You ever notice how whenever someone says, 'Let me introduce you to my friend Melissa,' you can't help but think, 'Oh great, another Melissa. Is this a conspiracy or just bad luck?
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