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Why did Brandon bring a map to the comedy club? In case he lost track of the punchlines!
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Why did Brandon bring a camera to the office? He wanted to capture the moments when work was in focus!
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Why did Brandon bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did Brandon bring a ladder to the gym? He heard it was a step-up workout!
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I asked Brandon if he's ever been to outer space. He said, 'No, but my jokes are out of this world!
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Why did Brandon bring a pillow to the restaurant? For the bread that's a bit too flat!
The Name Brandon
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I asked Brandon if he knew the meaning of his name. He said, Yeah, it means 'hill covered with broom'. I was like, Well, Brandon, your parents must have been real botanical enthusiasts. 'Let's name our kid after a hill with a cleaning tool on it.'
The Name Brandon
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I bet if you played a word association game with Brandon, every answer would be, Well, it's not as cool as my name. You say ocean, he says, Not as cool as Brandon. You say pizza, he says, Not as cool as Brandon.
The Name Brandon
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You ever notice how Brandons always have this mysterious vibe? Like, they think they're in some kind of spy movie. I bet if you asked a Brandon for his favorite color, he'd say, Classified information, my friend.
The Name Brandon
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So, I found out that Brandon is into meditation. He goes, I'm all about finding inner peace. I told him, Well, Brandon, you should start with finding outer vowels in your name first.
The Name Brandon
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I asked Brandon if he had a middle name. He said, Yeah, it's Michael. I was like, Wow, Brandon Michael! You sound like you should be hosting a detective show. 'Tonight on Brandon Michael: Solving Mysteries and Mispronunciations.'
The Name Brandon
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You ever meet someone and just know they're a Brandon? It's like they come with a nametag that says, Hello, my name is Brandon, and I probably have strong opinions about craft beer and indie films.
The Name Brandon
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I asked Brandon if he ever gets tired of people making jokes about his name. He said, Nah, it's all in good fun. I thought, Well, Brandon, your name might be Brandon, but your sense of humor is definitely 'Brand-on' point.
The Name Brandon
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You know, I met this guy named Brandon the other day. I was like, Brandon? Is that a name or a WiFi password? I mean, who names their kid after a character from a high school drama series? I can't wait to meet his siblings, Netflix and Chill.
The Name Brandon
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I asked Brandon if he ever Googled his own name. He said, Yeah, there are a lot of famous Brandons out there. I told him, Well, don't worry, one day you might make it to the top of the search results. Just keep being your unique, broom-covered-hill self.
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