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Why did Mufasa apply for a job at the zoo? He wanted to be the 'lion' manager.
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Mufasa's ghost had some serious scheduling issues. He only shows up in times of crisis. I wish I had that kind of timing. 'Oh, you're struggling with your taxes? Here's the ghost of accounting advice. Need relationship guidance? Here's the ghost of Tinder swiping strategies.'
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Mufasa had the ultimate roar in The Lion King. You know, the kind of roar that makes all the animals bow down. I tried that at the office once, but all I got were strange looks and a memo from HR about 'inappropriate workplace behavior.' Apparently, the corporate jungle has different rules.
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Remember when Mufasa appeared in the clouds to give Simba advice? I wish I had a Mufasa cloud following me around. 'You're about to make a bad financial decision. Step away from the online shopping cart, my child.' That would save me a lot of regrettable purchases.
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If Mufasa were a life coach, his catchphrase would be, 'Roar louder than your problems.' I tried that at my therapist's office, and now I'm banned. Apparently, they prefer quiet introspection over loud roars. Who knew?
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You know, if Mufasa had Google Maps, The Lion King would have been a much shorter movie. 'Hey Simba, just follow the red line to Pride Rock. No need for a musical number through the jungle. Hakuna Matata GPS, problem solved!'
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I always wondered, did Mufasa ever have a backup plan? I mean, he's up there in the clouds talking to Simba, giving life advice. But what if Simba decided to become a vegetarian? 'Dad, I don't want to eat antelopes; I just want to sing with them.' Mufasa would be up there like, 'Well, that wasn't in the script.'
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Mufasa's parenting style was a bit questionable. I mean, he's like, 'Simba, remember who you are.' But what if Simba wanted to be an accountant instead of a king? I can picture Mufasa at a parent-teacher conference arguing, 'He's not just good with numbers; he's destined for the throne!'
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I bet Mufasa regretted not investing in life insurance. I mean, Scar would have thought twice about throwing him off that cliff if he knew there was a hefty payout involved. 'Long live the king, and the financial security for my cubs.'
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I was watching The Lion King the other day, and I realized Mufasa must have been the original helicopter parent. I mean, he was literally hovering over Simba all the time. 'Simba, everything the light touches is our kingdom.' Dude, give the kid some space! No wonder Simba ran off to Hakuna Matata land.
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The Lion King really messed with my emotions. I mean, Mufasa's death scarred me for life. I still can't look at wildebeests without getting PTSD from that stampede. I thought Disney was supposed to be the 'happiest place on earth,' not the place where they emotionally scar you for life!
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