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I was watching a documentary about lemurs the other day, and it hit me: these little guys have life all figured out. They're hanging out in Madagascar, chilling in the trees, eating fruit. I thought, "Why am I not a Lemur? What am I doing with my life?" Lemurs have no bills to pay, no 9-to-5 jobs, just swinging from branches and living their best Lemur lives. So, I'm seriously considering a career change. I want to be a Lemur. I'm just not sure how to break it to my boss. "Hey, I've decided to pursue my true calling in life - leaping through the jungle and munching on bananas. Two weeks notice?" I'm pretty sure HR doesn't have a policy for that.
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I've been trying to understand the logic of lemurs. They're known for something called "sun-worshipping." Lemurs love to bask in the sun with their arms outstretched, absorbing those warm rays. I thought, "That's brilliant! I'm going to start sun-worshipping too." So, I went to the park, laid down, and started soaking up the sun. People were giving me weird looks. I realized the flaw in my plan: lemurs don't worry about getting weird tan lines! I ended up with a sunburn that made me look like a walking zebra. Lemur logic: 1, Human logic: 0.
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You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I realized something profound. I think life should come with a Lemur. Yeah, a Lemur, those cute little primates. They should be like personal life coaches. Picture this: you're having a bad day, and your Lemur just pops up on your shoulder, wearing tiny glasses and a suit, saying, "Hey, buddy, let me give you some Lemur wisdom." I can imagine it now. Lemur Lesson #1: Always be ready to leap into opportunities. Lemurs are excellent jumpers, right? So, my Lemur would be like, "You see that job promotion? Leap for it like I do from tree to tree!" Of course, it's hard to take life advice seriously when it's coming from a creature that looks like it's permanently surprised, but hey, it's worth a shot.
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You know, lemurs are known for their unique way of finding love. They have this thing called "stink flirting." That's right, stink flirting. Lemurs have scent glands on their wrists, and they rub those wrists together to create a scent that attracts potential mates. Can you imagine if humans did that? Picture this: you're at a bar, and someone walks up to you and says, "Excuse me, do you mind if I rub my wrists on you?" That's not a pickup line; that's a crime scene waiting to happen! Lemurs can get away with it because they're cute and fluffy. If I tried that, I'd get pepper-sprayed.
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