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I recently discovered that kids have a secret society, and their secret language is the buttons on their calculators. They're over there typing away, and I'm just trying to figure out how to send a text message without accidentally calling my grandma. I bet they're planning the overthrow of bedtime or something equally revolutionary.
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My friend told me that his kid's calculator has more processing power than the computer he had in college. I mean, back then, we were excited if our computer could handle a game of Minesweeper without crashing. Now kids have calculators that could probably run the stock market. Maybe they should start giving them to financial advisors.
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My kid asked me for help with his math homework the other day. I thought, "Sure, I can handle some basic addition." But then he pulls out this high-tech calculator that looks like it's about to solve the mysteries of the universe. I felt like I was trying to teach a caveman how to use an iPhone. I miss the good old days when math was just numbers and not a mission to Mars.
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I tried using my kid's calculator to balance my checkbook, and let me tell you, it was like trying to perform brain surgery with a spoon. I miss the simplicity of paper and pen. At least when I made a mistake, I could crumple up the paper and pretend it never happened. Now my mistakes are saved for eternity in the calculator's memory.
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You ever notice how kids nowadays have these fancy calculators that can do everything? I had a calculator growing up, but it could only add, subtract, multiply, and divide. These kids today, they've got calculators that can probably plan their entire future and order pizza for them. I mean, my calculator was just good at spelling "BOOBIES" upside down. Times have changed!
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You know you're getting old when you see kids using calculators for their homework, and you're just sitting there thinking, "Back in my day, we had to use our fingers to count, and if we ran out of fingers, well, tough luck!" These kids have calculators that can probably calculate how many times I've complained about calculators.
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Kids these days have calculators that can count in ways I didn't even know existed. I asked my niece to show me, and she starts pressing buttons like she's hacking into the Matrix. I'm just here struggling to figure out the tip at a restaurant. Maybe I'll just give the waiter my calculator and let them handle it.
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Kids and their calculators have it easy. When I was in school, we had to do math the hard way – with a pencil and eraser. These kids are out here with their fancy gadgets, and I'm over here feeling like I walked uphill both ways in the snow to solve a quadratic equation. Maybe I should upgrade my pencil to one with an eraser on both ends.
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Have you seen the calculators kids have these days? I swear, they're like mini computers. My first calculator was so basic; it had fewer buttons than my TV remote. Kids today have calculators that can probably connect to Wi-Fi and order a pizza. I just hope they remember to carry the one when figuring out the delivery tip.
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I asked a kid to borrow his calculator, and he handed me this sleek, futuristic device. I felt like I was holding a piece of alien technology. I was just trying to figure out the tip at a restaurant, not decode extraterrestrial messages. I miss the good old days when a calculator was just a rectangular thing with buttons, not a high-tech gadget with more features than my car.
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