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I recently bought a new phone, and the salesperson asked if I wanted a protective case. I said, "Nah, I like to live on the edge." But now, every time I drop my phone, I'm reminded that living on the edge means I hardly know where my phone is.
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Why do they call it a "shortcut" when it always takes longer? I tried taking a shortcut the other day, and I ended up in this maze of streets. I asked for directions, and the person said, "I hardly know her, but you should've taken the scenic route.
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Have you ever been in a conversation, and someone asks for your opinion on a complex topic? They're like, "What do you think about quantum physics?" I'm sitting there thinking, "I hardly know her, and I definitely don't know anything about quantum physics.
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You know, I recently tried online dating, and let me tell you, my profile picture is so outdated. It's like a time capsule from 2012. I showed up for the date, and she looked at me and said, "Is this you?" I said, "Yeah, that's me." She goes, "Wow, your profile picture looks nothing like you now." I thought to myself, "I hardly know her, but apparently, neither does my profile picture.
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I tried cooking a fancy meal for a date, and the recipe said, "Add a pinch of salt." I thought, "I hardly know her, but I hope she's okay with my definition of a 'pinch' because my hand slipped, and now it's more like a dash of salt and a sprinkle of regret.
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I went to a coffee shop the other day, and the barista asked, "Do you want your coffee hot?" I looked at her and replied, "Well, yeah, that's kind of the point, isn't it?" But then I thought about it, and I realized my response was like a bad setup for a punchline. "Do I want my coffee hot? I hardly know her, but I guess she likes her coffee lukewarm!
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I was at the grocery store, and the cashier asked if I wanted my milk in a bag. I said, "No, just leave it in the jug. I can handle it." She looked at me funny, and I thought, "I hardly know her, but she probably thinks I need a sippy cup for my milk.
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You ever notice how when you're trying to impress someone, you start saying things that make no sense? I was on a date, and I was trying to be all sophisticated, so I said, "I hardly know her, but I believe the quadratic formula is the key to world peace." She just stared at me and said, "Do you even know what the quadratic formula is?" I confessed, "Well, I hardly know her, but I tried.
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I joined a gym recently, and the trainer asked if I wanted a six-pack. I said, "Sure, but can it be a six-pack of donuts?" He laughed, and I thought, "I hardly know him, but I guess he's not on board with the donut workout plan.
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