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The Martial Arts Master
Teaching self-defense to overly confident students
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I showed a class the importance of balance, and one guy said, "I can balance on one foot for hours." I kicked him gently, and he fell like a tree in a cartoon. Lesson learned: boasting about balance doesn't prevent a graceful fall.
The Golf Master
Playing with someone who thinks golf is a contact sport
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We got to the water hazard, and my friend said, "I can swim, no problem." He jumped in after his ball, and I had to explain that golf is the only sport where a wet scorecard isn't a good thing.
The Chess Master
Teaching a beginner to play chess
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My friend said, "I'll master this game in no time." After the first game, he looked at me and said, "Is it normal to lose your queen in the first five moves?" I told him, "Only if you're auditioning for a chess horror movie.
The Master Chef
Trying to impress Gordon Ramsay
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I asked him for cooking advice, and he said, "You need to be more adventurous." So, I added some exotic spices to my next dish. He tasted it and said, "Adventurous, not suicidal!
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