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Joke Types
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Why did the hipster bring a pencil to the party? In case he wanted to draw attention.
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Why did the hipster bring a backpack to the bar? In case he wanted to leave before it was cool.
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Why did the hipster refuse to play hide and seek? Because good hiding spots are too mainstream.
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Why did the hipster plant his phone? He wanted to grow a smartphone tree.
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Why did the hipster bring a car door to the party? Because he wanted to have a 'slamming' good time.
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Why did the hipster refuse to swim in the lake? Because he didn't want to be seen in mainstream water.
Hipster Music Taste
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Hipsters always claim to have the best music taste. I asked one of them for a recommendation, and he said, You've probably never heard of them. Turns out, it was a band that hadn't even heard of themselves.
The Hipster Diet
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I tried going on a hipster diet once. It's called the Locavore Low-Cal. You only eat food that's grown within a five-mile radius of your apartment. Let me tell you, after a week, I was so malnourished, my body started Photoshopping itself in the mirror.
Hipster Workouts
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I joined a hipster gym recently. Instead of dumbbells, they had vintage vinyl records for weightlifting. I asked the trainer how many reps I should do, and he said, Just keep lifting until you've discovered a new genre of exercise.
The Hipster Dilemma
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You know you're dealing with a true hipster when they start using antique typewriters. I asked my hipster friend, Why don't you just use a computer? He said, Computers are too mainstream. I prefer my writing to be vintage, like my obsessions.
Hipster GPS
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I got lost in the hipster part of town the other day. I tried using my GPS, but it was programmed to only give directions to places that no one has ever heard of. It kept saying, Turn left at the artisanal kale smoothie stand, then head towards the secret underground vinyl record store.
Hipster Pet Names
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You know you're in a hipster neighborhood when you hear someone calling their pet by a name like Quinoa or Kombucha. I asked my hipster friend what he named his dog, and he said, This is my furry friend, Chia-Pet the Third.
The Hipster Beard
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I tried growing a hipster beard once, thinking it would make me look cool. But after a week, it just looked like a family of birds had set up a nest on my face. I had to carry around a bird feeder just to keep up with the grooming demands.
Hipster Time Travel
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Hipsters claim to be ahead of their time, but have you ever tried planning an event with them? It's like organizing a time travel expedition. We're meeting at the coffee shop on 5th Street at 8 PM... or is it 1882? Bring your monocle just in case.
The Hipster Apocalypse
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If there's ever a hipster apocalypse, we're all in trouble. They'll be riding fixed-gear bikes into battle, armed with craft beers and kale chips. The only way to survive is to convince them that mainstream is the new underground. Good luck with that.
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