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Joke Types
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Why did the college graduate bring a mirror to the job interview? To reflect on their qualifications!
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Why did the college graduate become a chef? They mastered the art of graduating cum laude!
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Why did the college graduate become an astronaut? They wanted a job that's out of this world!
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Why don't college graduates ever get lost? Because they always follow the degree signs!
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What's a college graduate's favorite music genre? Financially independent!
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What do you call a group of musical college graduates? The Note-worthy Alumni!
Commencement Confusion
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I recently attended a college commencement ceremony. You know it's long when they start handing out diplomas, and the first graduate has a full-grown beard. I thought we were here to celebrate degrees, not evolution.
The College Graduate Dilemma
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You know, being a college graduate is like having a VIP ticket to the adulting theme park. You enter with excitement, but suddenly realize all the rides are just different forms of paying bills and regretting your major.
Adulting 101
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You know you're officially an adult when you get excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. It's the little things. And by little things, I mean the tiny victories that distract you from the fact that you still can't fold a fitted sheet.
The Great Communal Fridge Mystery
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Living with roommates after college is like entering a mystery novel. The case of the missing milk, the curious disappearance of leftovers – it's a real-life whodunit. Sherlock Holmes would be proud, but he probably wouldn't touch that communal fridge with a ten-foot pole.
Late-Night Lessons
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College taught me many valuable life skills, like how to survive on instant noodles and how to turn a 5-minute presentation into an epic saga. If I could put that on my resume, I'd be the CEO of a noodle company by now.
The Resume Struggle
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Crafting a resume as a college graduate is like trying to write the perfect dating profile. You want to impress, so you embellish a bit, but deep down, you know your most significant skill is making a killer bowl of instant noodles.
The Student Loan Saga
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Student loans are like that one friend who keeps reminding you of money you owe them. Except, in this case, it's the government, and they don't send friendly reminders; they send debt collectors. Cheers to adulting!
Degrees in Procrastination
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College graduates, we have degrees in procrastination. We perfected the art of waiting until the last minute to start our assignments. I once wrote a 10-page paper in two hours. It was basically a literary masterpiece called Caffeine and Desperation.
Majors and Minors
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Choosing a major is like picking a flavor at an ice cream shop. At first, it seems like a great idea to go for something exotic, but in the end, you usually settle for vanilla with a sprinkle of regrets.
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