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Joke Types
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My 'rican' friend is really good at juggling. He can handle multiple salsas at once!
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I told my friend I could make a great 'rican' dessert. He said, 'prove it!' So, I made a flan-tastic cake!
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Why did the 'rican' chef open a restaurant? Because he wanted to spice up his life!
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Why did the 'rican' magician become a gardener? He wanted to make things disappear and bloom at the same time!
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What's a 'rican's' favorite type of movie? Anything with a good salsa twist!
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What do you call a 'rican' who can play multiple instruments? A salsa band-aid!
Island Time
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Puerto Rico operates on a different time zone - it's called Island Time. You make plans to meet someone at 2 PM, and they show up at 4 PM, acting like they're fashionably early. I've never been fashionably anything, let alone early.
Salsa Showdown
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I tried to impress the locals with my salsa dancing skills, but it turns out, I dance like a confused penguin. They were so polite, though. One guy came up and said, Wow, that's a unique interpretation of the salsa. Are you inventing a new dance style? Yeah, it's called the Spicy Penguin.
Lost in Translation
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You know, I recently went on a trip to Puerto Rico, and let me tell you, the language barrier was real. I tried to order a coffee, and I think I asked for a chicken. I don't know, it's like my Spanish decided to take a siesta just when I needed it the most.
Puerto Rican GPS
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I got a GPS in Puerto Rico, and I swear, it had an attitude. It's like, In 300 feet, turn left. If you miss it, I hope you packed a lunch because the next turn is in 27 miles. It's the only GPS that gives you directions with a side of sass.
Empanada Mishap
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I tried making empanadas with a Puerto Rican grandma. She handed me a rolling pin and said, Roll it like you mean it! I rolled it like I was negotiating a peace treaty. She took one look and said, That's not an empanada; that's a map of your culinary confusion.
Sunscreen Struggles
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I thought I was being smart, wearing sunscreen at the beach. Turns out, applying sunscreen is like trying to wrestle an octopus into a tube. I ended up with more sand in my sunscreen than on the beach. I'm not protecting myself from the sun; I'm exfoliating with SPF.
Coqui Serenade
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I heard this mysterious sound at night in Puerto Rico, like a mix between a frog and a bird. Turns out, it's the Coqui frog. I thought it was romantic until the frog outside my window started a full-blown karaoke session. Dude, even Enrique Iglesias would be jealous of that frog's love ballads.
Cocktail Codes
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The bartender in San Juan gave me a wink and said, Try our local cocktail; it's a secret code to happiness. I took a sip and realized the secret code was rum. Suddenly, everything was hilarious, including the fact that I couldn't remember the secret code.
Beach Bloopers
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I tried to impress everyone on the beach with my surfing skills. Spoiler alert: I can't surf. I spent more time on the board trying to stay afloat than actually riding the waves. I felt like a sea turtle attempting a dance routine – it wasn't pretty.
Coconut Conundrum
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I ordered a coconut drink, thinking I'd look all cool sipping it on the beach. They handed me a whole coconut with a straw. I felt like I was auditioning for a survival reality show. If I wanted to wrestle with a coconut, I'd have joined the cast of Survivor.
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