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Why did Charles Keller bring a ladder to the kids' party? Because he wanted to take the celebration to the next level!
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Why did the kids invite Charles Keller to their picnic? Because he promised to bring a bunch of 'snicker' doodles!
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What's Charles Keller's favorite dessert to share with kids? 'Pudding' smiles on their faces with his sweet jokes!
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Why did the kids bring Charles Keller to the soccer game? Because they heard he knows the 'goal' of every good joke!
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What did the kids say when Charles Keller asked if they wanted to hear a joke? 'Keller' yeah! We're always up for a good laugh!
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What did Charles Keller say when the kids asked if he could do magic? 'Keller-bration'! Watch as I make your frowns disappear!
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Why did the kids ask Charles Keller to help with their math homework? Because he knows how to make numbers 'add' up to laughter!
Charles, the Negotiator 2.0
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Charles tried to negotiate his way into having ice cream for dinner. He argued that it had milk, and milk is part of a balanced diet. I told him he's not negotiating with the Food and Drug Administration; he's negotiating with the dinner police, and they don't take bribes in the form of sprinkles.
Charles, the Time Traveler
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Charles tried to convince me that he's a time traveler because he found a cassette tape in the attic. I had to break it to him that it's not a time machine; it's just an ancient playlist. I guess to him, CDs are probably artifacts from the future. Kids and their time-traveling music, I tell you.
Charles the Negotiator
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My son Charles negotiated his bedtime last night. He came up to me with a PowerPoint presentation, a laser pointer, and a list of reasons why 8:00 PM was just too early for a person of his stature. I swear, negotiating with that kid is like dealing with a tiny UN diplomat.
Snack Fort Knox
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I tried to grab a cookie from Charles's snack stash, and he set off an alarm system that would put Fort Knox to shame. I haven't seen that many security measures since the last spy movie. I just wanted a cookie, not a mission impossible!
Nap Time Negotiations
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Babysitting kids is like negotiating a peace treaty. I tried putting little Charles down for a nap, and he gave me a look that said, You can try, but I've got negotiations scheduled with Mr. Sandman.
Charles, the Snack Strategist
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Charles has a unique strategy for eating snacks. He opens a bag of chips, takes one chip, and then carefully seals the bag like he's protecting state secrets. I didn't know snacking required a security clearance.
Charles, the Tech Wizard
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My friend Charles Keller thinks he's a tech wizard. He asked me to check out his new smart fridge. I opened it, and it was so smart, it asked me about my plans for the weekend. I didn't know refrigerators were now offering therapy sessions.
Bedtime Stories with Charles
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Reading bedtime stories to Charles is like performing at the Comedy Club. He's my toughest critic. If the story doesn't have enough plot twists or talking animals, he gives me a review that would make Simon Cowell proud.
Kids These Days
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You ever notice how kids these days are so tech-savvy? I asked my nephew, Charles, to help me with my computer, and he looked at me like I just handed him a stone tablet. I told him to fix it, not decipher ancient hieroglyphics!
Charles, the Homework Consultant
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Charles asked me for help with his homework, and I felt like I was in a high-stakes quiz show. I had one lifeline, and it was Google. I swear, helping kids with homework these days is a mental workout. I haven't used my brain that much since trying to figure out why Netflix asked if I was still watching.
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