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So, I decided to give a man a fish. Turns out, it wasn't just any fish; it was a talking fish. Now, every time I walk by his place, I hear them having deep conversations about the meaning of life. I guess my fish is now his philosophical advisor.
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I tried the whole "Give a man a fish" thing, but nowadays, it's more like, "Give a man a fish, and he'll take a selfie with it, post it on Instagram, and then ask for the recipe." I didn't know being a fish donor came with a social media endorsement.
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You know, they say, "Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day." Well, I tried that, but apparently, he wanted sushi, gluten-free, and with a side of organic seaweed. Now I'm just thinking, maybe I should've given him a cookbook instead.
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Gave a man a fish, and he asked me if it was sustainably sourced. I was like, "Dude, it's a fish, not a Tesla. I didn't check its carbon footprint before catching it.
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So, I followed the advice, gave a man a fish. Next thing I know, he's complaining about the lack of gluten-free, soy-free, and dairy-free options. I didn't realize fishes were such picky eaters.
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Gave a man a fish, and he asked if it was ethically sourced. I was like, "Buddy, it's not like I interviewed the fish about its life choices before catching it. It's a fish, not a politician.
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Tried the whole "Give a man a fish" thing, but he looked at me and said, "Thanks, but do you have it in a low-carb version?" I didn't know fishes came with nutritional preferences.
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Attempted the whole "Give a man a fish" thing, but he handed it back, saying, "Can you exchange this for store credit? I'm more of a sushi takeout kind of guy." I guess my fish wasn't up to his culinary standards.
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I thought I'd be a good Samaritan and give a man a fish. Little did I know, he was a strict pescatarian. Now, I'm standing there, holding a fish like it's some sort of seafood bouquet, trying to navigate the dietary preferences of the needy.
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