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Christmas parties are the only place where people attempt DIY decorations that look like Pinterest fails in real life. I tried making a wreath once, and it ended up looking like a salad stuck to my front door.
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You ever notice how Christmas parties turn into a game of "Guess the Price" with the white elephant gifts? It's like, "Is this a vintage collectible or something you found in the back of your closet?
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At Christmas parties, the mistletoe is like the original awkward social experiment. It's the one time of year where people stand under a plant, hoping for a kiss, while secretly worrying about who's been sneezing or touching their face nearby.
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At Christmas parties, the gift exchange is like a high-stakes poker game. You unwrap a present and try to smile, but inside you're thinking, "Who brought the scented candles that smell like disappointment?
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Have you noticed that at Christmas parties, the fruitcake is like the uninvited guest that no one wants, but it keeps showing up year after year? It's the gift that keeps on regifting.
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Christmas parties are the only time of year when people willingly wear ugly sweaters and call it a fashion statement. It's the one time you can look in the mirror and say, "Yep, this is my peak festive fashion moment.
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Christmas office parties are like a social experiment in recognizing your coworkers outside of work clothes. You're trying to figure out, "Wait, is that the guy from accounting or just a really festive ninja?
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Christmas parties are the only place where people willingly sing songs together, even if they've never heard of harmony. It's like a musical version of the Hunger Games, where the last one singing gets the last piece of pie.
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You ever notice how at Christmas parties, the holiday sweaters are like a competition? It's not about who's been naughty or nice anymore; it's about who can bedazzle their sweater the most. I walked in with my plain red sweater, and suddenly I felt underdressed for a crafting convention!
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