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There are so many misconceptions about adoption. People assume it's all rainbows and unicorns. My friend tells me, "People think my life is like a Disney movie." But reality check, there's no singing woodland creatures or magical talking sidekicks. And then there's the idea that adopted kids are automatically troubled. My friend was like, "I was adopted, not raised by wolves. I'm not howling at the moon; I'm just trying to find a good pizza place."
But, you know, adoption is a beautiful thing. It's like getting a surprise gift. Sure, you might not know what's inside at first, but it turns out to be something pretty amazing. Like a PlayStation. Or, you know, a lifelong friend.
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You ever notice how people use the word "adopted" like it's a secret password to an exclusive club? It's like, "Hey, nice to meet you. By the way, I'm adopted." And you're just standing there like, "Cool, I'm gluten intolerant. Should we start a support group?" I've got a friend who's adopted, and he always tells me, "You know, I'm adopted, right?" And I'm thinking, "Dude, you've told me 27 times. It's not a surprise twist in your life story anymore; it's the running theme!"
But I respect it. Adoption is a unique experience. My friend says, "I was chosen." I'm like, "Man, I was the last one picked in dodgeball. Does that count?"
The weirdest part is when people try to guess my friend's ethnicity based on his appearance. They're like, "So, where are you really from?" And he's like, "Ohio." And they're like, "No, I mean, where are you
really
from?" And he's like, "Seriously, Ohio. They've got great corn.
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Adopted people often hear the question, "Do you look like your adopted family?" And my friend is like, "Well, we all have noses. Does that count?" It's not like they share a secret adopted family trait, like having an extra toe or all being able to juggle flaming bowling pins. But the real fun is when people insist they've spotted a family resemblance. They're like, "You have your dad's eyes." And he's like, "Yeah, because he gave them to me last Christmas."
I think people just want adopted families to be like those puzzle pieces that fit perfectly. Sorry, folks, it's more like a game of Tetris, and sometimes you have to rotate a few times to make it work.
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People always feel the need to ask adopted folks about their biological parents. It's like they're on a mission to uncover some secret spy operation. "Tell me, Agent Adopted, who are your real parents?" My friend gets asked, "Do you ever wonder about your real mom?" And he's like, "Yeah, she's the one who birthed me. I'm not a superhero with an origin story. I'm just a guy who likes pizza and occasionally wonders if I left the stove on."
And then there's the classic, "Do you want to find your birth parents?" It's like asking if you want to unlock the bonus level of life. My friend's response is always, "Nah, I'm good. I found my real family when they let me have dessert before dinner.
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