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I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist. Today, I tried again and got a little dew it!
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I'm writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don't read it, unless you want to. In fact, read it thrice!
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Parallel lines have so much in common. Too bad they'll never meet in 3D!
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I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y, though... and I'm still trying to figure out the other 3!
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I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads. It's like it has a 3-week notice!
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I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down... even in 3 chapters!
3 Words at the Dentist
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Went to the dentist the other day, and after poking around in my mouth for what felt like an eternity, he looks at me and drops the bomb - 3 words: floss every day. Floss every day? Does he think I have time-traveling capabilities or something? I mean, I barely have time to binge-watch a TV show, and now I'm supposed to add daily flossing to my schedule? It's like he's asking me to join an exclusive club of overachieving dental enthusiasts. Can't we just settle for a polite nod when I admit I should floss more?
3 Words: New Year's Resolution
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Ah, New Year's resolutions, the annual tradition of setting ourselves up for failure. This year, I decided to be bold and ambitious. I proudly declared, 3 words: hit the gym. Little did I know that my gym membership card would become the most unused piece of plastic in my wallet. It's like my subconscious whispered, 3 words: Netflix and chill. Who needs a six-pack when you can have a six-season binge?
3 Words: Blind Date Disaster
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Set up on a blind date, excited and nervous, trying to make a good impression. The person walks in, takes one look at me, and utters the fateful words - 3 words: nice personality. Ouch! That's dating equivalent of a participation trophy. I'm here thinking I'm the full package, and all they notice is my sparkling personality. Well, thanks, but I was hoping for a review that included more than just my conversational skills.
3 Words: Family Road Trip
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Family road trips, anyone? Picture this: you're in the car, kids are arguing in the back, and you're trying to keep your sanity intact. Then, your spouse turns to you and drops the classic line - 3 words: sing-along time. Oh, joy. Now, not only are you navigating through traffic and refereeing a backseat brawl, but you're also expected to unleash your inner pop star. Forget the GPS; we need a playlist that can miraculously turn 'Wheels on the Bus' into a chart-topping hit.
3 Words to Ruin a Date
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So, you know, I was on this date, trying to impress this person, and then they hit me with the ultimate bombshell - 3 words. I'm thinking, Oh no, did I spill something on my shirt? Did I accidentally reveal my secret obsession with collecting rubber ducks? But no, it was worse. They just said, Let's be vegan. Three words, and suddenly I'm contemplating a life without bacon. I mean, what kind of monster drops that bomb on a first date?
3 Words: DIY Projects
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I recently decided to become a DIY enthusiast. You know, those people who turn an old tire into a coffee table and think it's a masterpiece. So, I gathered my tools, got some wood, and then someone told me the three words that haunt every wannabe handyman's dreams - 3 words: IKEA furniture. Suddenly, my grand plans of building a majestic bookshelf from scratch turned into deciphering hieroglyphics and wrestling with an army of Allen wrenches. I just wanted a shelf, not an advanced degree in Swedish engineering.
3 Words: Office Potluck
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The office potluck, a culinary minefield. So, I decide to contribute something this time, feeling proud of my culinary skills. I bring in my dish, and my colleague takes one look at it and says, 3 words: store-bought snacks. Ouch. I thought I was being all Martha Stewart, but apparently, my culinary masterpiece looked more like a cry for help. Next time, I'm just bringing in a bag of chips and saving myself from the judgment of the potluck connoisseurs.
3 Words: Weekend DIY Project
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Decided to tackle a DIY project over the weekend, thinking I'd become the Bob Ross of home improvement. As I proudly unveiled my creation, my friend took one look and dropped the dreaded phrase - 3 words: hire a professional. Apparently, my masterpiece resembled something Picasso might have painted during a caffeine-fueled all-nighter. Note to self: stick to stick-figure drawings and leave the heavy lifting to the experts.
3 Words: Text from Mom
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Ever receive a text from your mom that starts with 3 words? You know it's about to get real. Mine recently sent, 3 words: call your grandma. Now, I love my grandma, but really, Mom? Can't we stick to the usual emoji-filled exchanges? Suddenly, I'm guilt-tripped into being the grandchild of the year, all because of three little words. It's like a text, but with a side of emotional manipulation.
3 Words in Technology
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Technology can be both a blessing and a curse. The other day, my computer decided to crash, and I'm desperately trying to resuscitate it. I call tech support, and the guy on the other end calmly says, 3 words: turn it off. Really? That's your brilliant tech advice? I just spent a small fortune on this high-tech machine, and the solution is to treat it like an old TV from the '90s? I felt like I was getting IT advice from a Zen master.
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