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You know, Christmas is that time of year when everyone suddenly becomes a tech expert. "Oh, you have to get the latest gadget; it's a game-changer!" So, last year, I thought I'd join the ranks of the tech-savvy gift-givers. I bought my grandparents a smart home device. You know, the ones that can control the lights, the thermostat, play music, and probably even tell you the meaning of life if you ask nicely. The problem is, my grandparents are still trying to figure out how to use the TV remote.
I get this frantic call on Christmas day: "Emily, the house is talking to us!" Turns out, they accidentally activated the voice command and had a full-blown conversation with the virtual assistant. They were asking it to play Bing Crosby, and it was reciting the entire Wikipedia page on Bing Crosby. It was like a technological Christmas Carol, and my grandparents were the bewildered Scrooges.
So, note to self: Next year, stick to gifts that come with an instruction manual written in plain English.
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You ever notice how Christmas gifts are like a box of chocolates? You never know what you're gonna get, and sometimes, it feels like life is playing a cruel joke on you. Last Christmas, my aunt gave me a gift that was so off the mark, I wondered if we were related by blood or if she just wandered into the wrong family gathering. I unwrap this present, and what do I find? A self-help book titled "How to Find Inner Peace." Now, call me crazy, but I think if you're giving someone a book on finding inner peace, you might be the reason they need it in the first place. It's like saying, "Merry Christmas, I think you're a mess."
And the worst part? The author must be some zen master who has it all figured out because the book was shrink-wrapped. So, not only did I get a subtle insult, but I also can't even return the thing! I guess the inner peace comes from accepting that you're stuck with a terrible gift.
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Who here has regifted a present? Come on, don't be shy. We're all friends here, right? I've done it, and I've received regifted presents, too. It's like a secret society of recycled gifts, and we're all in on the conspiracy. Last Christmas, my friend handed me a nicely wrapped box, and I'm thinking, "Oh, she really knows me." But when I tore off the paper, I found a gift tag that said, "To Emily, from Emily." That's right – she regifted something to me that I had given her the year before. It's like playing gift tag hot potato.
I couldn't even be mad. I was just impressed by the audacity. I mean, she must've thought, "If Emily liked it, surely Emily will like it, too." It's the circle of regifting life.
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Let's talk about gift wrapping. Whoever invented wrapping paper clearly never had to deal with the frustration of trying to make the ends meet. It's like trying to put a sweater back into its original packaging – impossible! Last year, I decided to get creative with my gift wrapping. I thought I'd be all Pinterest-worthy and use newspaper. Environmentally friendly, right? Well, turns out, my family didn't appreciate the irony of unwrapping their gifts to find headlines like "Man Eats 100 Hot Dogs in One Sitting." Yeah, Merry Christmas, here's a headline that'll make you lose your appetite.
I tried to explain it was all in the spirit of recycling, but they just gave me that look – you know, the one that says, "Next year, just use the ugly reindeer paper like everyone else.
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