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Have you ever tried explaining to your parents why you need a password on your phone? "It's not that I don't trust you, Mom, it's just that my gallery is a minefield of embarrassing selfies and questionable memes. It's for your own good.
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Why is it that as adults, we spend half our lives looking for our keys, and the other half trying to remember why we walked into a room? I swear, my brain has a pop-up notification that says, "You entered this space for a reason. Good luck figuring it out!
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Adulting is realizing that the hardest part of a diet is not the exercise or the healthy eating – it's the part where you have to go to the grocery store and resist the siren call of the snack aisle. I'm just here for the vegetables, but that chocolate bar looks so lonely.
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You know you're an adult when your knees start making more noise than your Spotify playlist. I stand up, and suddenly it's like my joints are having a percussion competition. I half-expect them to start playing "Stairway to Heaven.
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I was browsing one of those "adults only with pictures" websites the other day, and they had a disclaimer saying, "Must be 18 or older to enter." Like, really? As if my age is what's going to determine whether I can handle the sheer sophistication of poorly lit selfies.
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Adulting is like trying to fold a fitted sheet. No matter how many YouTube tutorials you watch, it still ends up looking like a map of a fictional country you're trying to conquer. And yes, there may be a few wrinkles along the way.
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Why is it that when you're a kid, you can't wait to grow up, but when you're an adult, you just want a nap? I miss the days when the hardest decision was choosing between crayons or colored pencils, not between career paths and existential crises.
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You know you're an adult when your definition of a wild night is staying up late to watch a documentary on the fascinating world of marine life. Oh, did I mention it was an adult documentary? Yeah, it was about octopuses.
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You ever notice how when you go to an "adults only with pictures" section online, the website always claims to be for "mature audiences"? Yeah, because nothing says maturity like blurry thumbnails and pixelated passion.
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