4 Jokes For 80s

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Apr 21 2025

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Can we talk about the logic in 80s movies? I mean, if you were a teenager back then, you were basically an expert at thwarting alien invasions, defeating bullies, and saving the world. And it all happened in one summer.
Every 80s movie had the same formula: small-town kid discovers something extraordinary, faces adversity, finds an unlikely mentor, and then BAM – he's a hero. I tried that in real life once. I found a mysterious object in my backyard, and instead of becoming a hero, I just got grounded for digging up the garden.
And what's the deal with the bad guys always having terrible aim? It's like they went to the Stormtrooper School of Marksmanship. The hero is sprinting in a straight line, and the bad guy is shooting everywhere but at him. I guess the 80s bad guys were just too busy perfecting their evil monologues to focus on target practice.
You ever look back at pictures from the 80s and think, "Did we all collectively lose a bet on fashion?" I mean, I get it, the neon colors, the big hair, the shoulder pads that could double as airplane wings. We treated fashion like it was a costume party that lasted a whole decade.
I recently found an old picture of myself from the 80s, and I looked like a walking highlighter. I'm pretty sure if I stood still for too long, someone might've mistaken me for a street sign. And don't even get me started on the mullets – business in the front, party in the back. I always wondered if people with mullets were just indecisive about their hairstyles.
But you know what they say, fashion is cyclical. So, if you're ever feeling nostalgic, just wait a few years. Who knows, maybe I'll be rocking a neon jumpsuit and a perm again. I'll be like a time-traveling disco ball.
Remember the 80s when technology was, well, let's call it "charmingly primitive"? We thought having a Walkman was the height of portable entertainment. I had a collection of cassette tapes that I guarded like they were ancient scrolls. Fast-forwarding and rewinding to find that one song – it was like playing musical roulette.
And let's not forget about the struggle of recording songs off the radio, trying to time it just right so the DJ wouldn't talk over the intro. I'd sit there with my finger hovering over the "record" button, ready to pounce like a ninja capturing a moment of musical history.
Oh, and the video games! I recently showed my kid an old 8-bit video game, and he looked at me like I handed him a stone tablet. "Dad, where are the realistic graphics?" Sorry, son, we had to use our imagination back then. I mean, those pixels were like the LEGO blocks of our childhood – you had to squint and pretend it was a dragon.
I love how 80s music can transport you back in time faster than any DeLorean. You hear the opening notes of a song, and suddenly, you're in acid-washed jeans, dancing like you just stepped out of a John Hughes movie.
And let's not forget about the power ballads. Every rock band in the 80s had to have a power ballad. It was like a rite of passage. If your hair wasn't flowing dramatically in the wind while you played an emotional guitar solo, did you even rock?
But the best part about 80s music is the questionable lyrics. I was listening to one the other day, and I thought, "Wait, did they just rhyme 'fire' with 'desire' and think they were poets?" But you know what? It worked! We were all singing along, pretending we knew exactly what they were talking about.
So here's to the 80s, where the fashion was loud, the technology was charmingly outdated, the movies were predictably epic, and the music had us all singing like we were in our own personal music video. Cheers to the decade that made us cringe and dance at the same time.

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