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Wayne Gretzky's success in hockey is like my success in finding matching socks. Sometimes you just end up with a bunch of random pairs, and you have to pretend it was intentional.
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Wayne Gretzky's career is legendary, but I bet even he couldn't navigate the confusion of assembling IKEA furniture. "Skate to where the Allen wrench is going to be, not where it has been, Wayne!
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Wayne Gretzky's nickname is "The Great One." I wish I had a nickname like that. Imagine being known as "The Great One" in something mundane, like folding laundry. "Here comes John, The Great One of fitted sheets. Master of the fabric fold!
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Wayne Gretzky once said, "Skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been." I tried applying that philosophy to my pizza delivery job, but customers didn't appreciate me predicting their hunger.
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You ever notice how Wayne Gretzky, the legendary hockey player, has more assists than anyone else in the history of the sport? I mean, the guy probably helped more goals happen than my GPS ever did for me. "Turn left, eh, and score that goal, buddy!
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Wayne Gretzky's precision on the ice is impressive. Meanwhile, I can't even pour milk without missing the cereal bowl. It's like my kitchen is a mini hockey rink, and I'm constantly scoring milk goals on the countertop.
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Wayne Gretzky's records are like my New Year's resolutions—impressive at first, but eventually, they both end up abandoned by February. "I was going for the Great One status in going to the gym daily, but Netflix happened.
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Wayne Gretzky's talent is undeniable, but have you ever tried explaining hockey to someone who's never seen it? It's like describing quantum physics to a goldfish. "So, there's a puck, some sticks, and a lot of Canadians sliding around on ice...
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Wayne Gretzky said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Well, I must be a great hockey player because I never take shots at doing my taxes, and I haven't missed one yet!
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